Bananor Bites Back

Thank you L for sharing such a personal and candid...

2010-03-08T13:11:43.821-07:00

Thank you L for sharing such a personal and candid experience.

Although you're the first person to leave a comment on this post, I know that you're not alone in your experience because this blog post is the most read post on my site, consistently, every week.

Date rape, mate rape, whatever you want to call it is something that people want to talk about but I suspect that many are afraid to.

Thank you for your courage and for opening a door to hopefully, further discussion on here with others. I sincerely hope that you find peace and a solution to your situation.

Thank you L for sharing such a personal and candid...

2010-03-08T13:08:55.400-07:00

Of course, if we didn't know that Joan's perfect D...

2010-03-08T12:42:17.947-07:00

Of course, if we didn't know that Joan's perfect Doctor Doctor Greg was the sort of man who was so insecure about having a drop dead knockout for a wife that he had to force himself on her against her will from time to time...

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Wow, thank you for saying this. I came across this 'date rape' scene by accident several months ago and it really hurt my heart. I've been married for more than 26 years and have been 'mate raped' countless times (a term from your follow-up blog). I just didn't know at the time to call it by its name: rape. And I didn't know to identify this behavior as stemming from my husband's basic insecurity! Like the character Joan, perhaps, I tried to characterize the groping and unwanted sex as something positive, just to make what he had done to me tolerable.

Recently, my husband and I went to a meeting together and later I went to a follow-up meeting with the same person alone. The conversation turned to my unhappy marriage and the person I was meeting with threw up his hands and said he was so glad to be able to say what he had seen when the two of us were together, now that he knew how troubled our relationship was. "The energy coming from the two of you is completely opposite," he said. And he defined the negative energy coming from my husband as 'weak' and 'insecure'. I have always seen him as someone formidable and intimidating, a bully, so it amazed me that others saw through this bluster to perceive his inferiority. And now you say more or less the same thing.

People used to ask him all the time what someone like me was doing with a man like him...and sometimes they'd say this to me in front of him. I always assumed these people were just flattering me or teasing him, but if my husband is, at heart, an insecure man, then these comments must have been galling to his ego.

Now, instead of groping and unwanted sex, he's gone the other way, completely cutting off any affection at all. It's a big relief not to feel pressured, but his rejecting behavior seems deliberately insulting, too. In its own way, the neglect is just as harmful as the abuse. So...these days, I'm beginning to ask myself the old question: what is someone like me doing with a man like him? I may not be a drop dead knock-out (anymore) but somewhere inside, I'm still that person. And she deserves better than this.

Steph is a real doll, with a ton of personality. B...

2010-03-06T22:25:05.204-07:00

Steph is a real doll, with a ton of personality. Banff should be proud to have her.

How did you organize your office pool?!

2010-02-19T13:49:10.275-07:00

How did you organize your office pool?!

Maybe you should lose some weight then they wouldn...

2009-11-29T15:12:50.503-07:00

Maybe you should lose some weight then they wouldn't be so unconfortable, you fat cunt.

I think the Canadian Government may have been a li...

2009-10-19T11:35:41.886-06:00

I think the Canadian Government may have been a little earlier in considering the possibility of men being victims of sexual assault or harassment. A 2003 report from StatsCan seems to indicate that domestic abuse is not so gender specific, in that one might expect men to be the aggressor when the study indicates the opposite.
Here is a news story reporting the same...
http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/1058111132247_51/

You are the second person who has ever considered ...

2009-10-19T09:54:00.191-06:00

You are the second person who has ever considered the possibility of men being victims of sexual assault or harassment.

OMG!!! I can't believe that they're slaughtering ...

2009-10-18T09:27:32.557-06:00

OMG!!! I can't believe that they're slaughtering dolphins in Japan for school lunch meat! Here's the trailer: http://www.thecovemovie.com/.

For a good documentary, check out The Cove. Gets ...

2009-10-18T00:09:12.890-06:00

For a good documentary, check out The Cove. Gets to the heart of a dolphin slaughter issue in Japan. I thought Moore did a good job on this one - not as daring as the early films, true, and maybe not as deep or involving. But a story worth telling.

Thanks Juanita, great comments. Definitely a hot ...

2009-10-17T23:35:04.741-06:00

Thanks Juanita, great comments. Definitely a hot issue right now.

Thanks!

2009-10-17T23:33:35.053-06:00

Thanks!

Well done!

2009-10-17T23:28:53.381-06:00

Well done!

It's interesting. You're so busy criticizing (and...

2009-10-15T11:35:44.866-06:00

It's interesting. You're so busy criticizing (and quite rightly) Joan's husband, Dr. Greg Harris that you're evading one other issue. Why did Joan marry him after he had raped her? Why?

Many people keep using society’s expectations for women as an excuse for Joan’s decision to marry Greg after he had raped her. I can’t. Joan has no one to blame but herself. There was no real reason for her to marry this rapist. Unless for some perverse reason, she was in love with him. But judging from the manner in which she had crowed over receiving her engagement ring in “The New Girl”, I have doubt that she feels that way about him. If Peggy has the will to overcome social expectations and pursue a career in advertising, why couldn’t Joan do the same and realize that a) she is not cut out to be a wife/mother; and b)marrying a rapist is not a good idea.

I have also noticed that many fans have complimented Joan for making the best of her new domestic situation in a “competent” manner. But despite being married, Joan is not pregnant. Not yet. Which leads me to feel that she is nothing but a fool for continuing this marriage.

Ms. 'W'infrey, Gails' wife.

2009-09-22T08:08:38.169-06:00

Ms. 'W'infrey, Gails' wife.

Ms Dubya? Who dat?

2009-09-22T07:18:40.147-06:00

Ms Dubya? Who dat?

Oh sweet Jesus Bananor, what have you done? What h...

2009-09-21T23:16:23.865-06:00

Oh sweet Jesus Bananor, what have you done? What have you done?

Oprah won't actually read your blog, but her people do. Oh sweet Jesus you have raised a shit storm wit O's posse. It isn't too late for you to write something nice about Ms Dubya, and get this all worked out.....

oh......

I can't tell you how hard I laughed at the John De...

2009-09-21T22:41:05.427-06:00

I can't tell you how hard I laughed at the John Deere scene. The messy one. Very very funny. (I'm a day behind)

MM

We hate you for hating pantyhose.

2009-09-21T13:49:36.238-06:00

We hate you for hating pantyhose.

Thanks very much Marilyn for highlighting that art...

2009-01-02T23:46:43.732-07:00

Thanks very much Marilyn for highlighting that article. Could this mean he might be writing about his experiences in Paris any time soon?
I have ordered his other books from my local library and I'm looking forward to them. Thanks for your comments, and do please post more - I really enjoy hearing about what interests other people. I've made sure that Intelligent Traveler is on our blogroll, so thanks for that as well.
Take care,
Anna

Taras Grescoe is a travel writer I greatly admire;...

2009-01-02T14:27:30.912-07:00

Taras Grescoe is a travel writer I greatly admire; he's one of the few popular writers who speaks out against sushi and overfishing. He's written for National Geographic Traveler (where I work) quite a bit. Here's an interview with him on our Intelligent Travel blog about Paris and some of his favorite things to do there:
http://blogs.nationalgeographic.com/blogs/intelligenttravel/2008/02/words-of-parisian-wisdom-from.html
He also wrote a pretty scathing and hilarious book about tourism called "The End of Elsewhere": http://www.amazon.com/End-Elsewhere-Travels-Among-Tourists/dp/1852428678/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1230931197&sr=1-4

oooh, that's pretty sweet! I'm going to wait for ...

2008-11-17T19:01:55.463-07:00

oooh, that's pretty sweet! I'm going to wait for HD, thanks for the tip!

The Vado is pretty easy to use. For the price, it'...

2008-11-16T22:59:09.128-07:00

The Vado is pretty easy to use. For the price, it's worth getting. But I just realised that they will also be a HD version coming soon. See http://www.mycreativefansite.com/2008/11/coming-soon-creative-vado-hd.html

Interesting, thanks for bringing that to our atten...

2008-11-08T09:06:30.408-07:00

Interesting, thanks for bringing that to our attention. Cool video.

There is an alternative to English as the dominant...

2008-11-08T06:11:15.795-07:00

There is an alternative to English as the dominant World Language, and its name is Esperanto.

Esperanto is now within the top 100 languages, out of 6,000 worldwide, according to the CIA factbook. It is the 17th most used language in Wikipedia, and in use by Skype, Firefox and Facebook.

Native Esperanto speakers, including George Soros, Nobel Laureate Daniel Bovet, and World Champion Chess Player, Susan Polger.

The World Esperanto Association enjoys consultative relations with both the United Nations and UNESCO.

Evidence can be seen at http://www.lernu.net

An interesting video can be seen at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LV9XU